Red Sea Road

Growing up, one of my favorite stories from the Bible was that of the Israelites being led out of Egypt.  In high school, I would lay in bed at night and recount the stories of God's faithfulness to his people to reassure myself when things seemed impossible.  I think it's important to continually remind one another of the ways in which God has been faithful.  For that reason, I'd like to share this story with you...

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When I was 36, I found my life crumbling around me.  I had spent nearly half of my life pouring my whole self into a marriage that was now ending.  This was clearly not in my plan.  I was devastated that my children would be children of divorce, heartbroken to be relegated to what felt like a fragmented family.  Our pastor at church often spoke of shalom - the Jewish concept of peace and wholeness.  I wanted to believe that shalom was possible for me, but I couldn't see a way forward, couldn't muster the faith to envision a future that would bring shalom to myself and my children.  During that very difficult season, I pictured myself on a lazy river, being carried along by the love and support of the friends and family who gathered around me.  These people were the hands and feet of Christ to me when I desperately needed God to take a tangible form in my life.  It is no small thing to be well loved during difficult seasons.

Several months later, one friend who always seemed to know just what I needed sent me a song and reminded me yet again that she was praying for me and confident that good things were coming my way.  The song was Red Sea Road by Ellie Holcomb.  As I listened to the lyrics that told the familiar story of God's faithfulness, I sat on my bathroom floor wracked with sobs.  It touched a place deep inside of me that I recognized as hope.  I hadn't dared to hope in quite a while, too scared that I would be let down again.  I was afraid to trust God fully, because I still couldn't believe that shalom was possible for me.  I decided that this song would be the theme song of this season of my life.  The waiting and hoping season.

We will sing to our souls, we won't bury our hope
Where he leads us to go, there's a Red Sea Road
When we can't see the way, he will part the waves
And we'll never walk alone down a Red Sea Road

Two weeks later, I met the man I will soon marry.  A girlfriend and I were at a concert for galentines and asked to sit next to him so we could share his heater.  He had a long beard.  He was a drummer with a band out of Nashville I had never heard of - Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors.  I asked if Drew was any relation to Ellie Holcomb, and he told me they were husband and wife.  He sometimes played for Ellie.  I wasn't trying to date anyone, he was moving away to Nashville.  I didn't think anything would come of this chance meeting under a heater.  My friend and I closed the place down talking to this friendly man with a long beard.  Before we left, we all exchanged numbers so we could try to hang out again before he moved to Nashville.

Jonathan and I ended up hanging out the next day, and the next, and the next.  We were instant friends, spending hours talking about all of the most important things in life.  Complete honesty came easily, in part because we both knew we couldn't have a real relationship with his impending move, and in part because Jonathan is nothing if not genuine.  He played a women's retreat with Ellie and brought me a signed copy of her Red Sea Road album.  He eventually met my children, introduced as "Mama's friend who plays the drums and is moving to Nashville."  I fell in love with Jonathan quite by accident and very quickly.  My children took to him just as swiftly, leaning into his trustworthy kindness.  I couldn't see a way forward for us.  I prayed we would find a Red Sea Road.

Fast forward through several months of spending time with friends and family and more honest conversations than I've ever had in my life.  I drove to pick Jonathan up from a show so that we could travel to the next show over my Thanksgiving break.  When I arrived, I finally got to meet Ellie!  She and their children were touring with Drew for the end of the Willie Nelson tour.  It was so special to meet the woman who sang the song that restored my hope in a future I couldn't yet imagine.

A couple of days later, Jonathan and I had dinner at an amazing restaurant in San Antonio.  We moved to the patio for dessert and coffee and were seated right next to a heater.  And, as it turned out, right on the other side of the window from Drew and Ellie, who happened to be having dinner at the same restaurant.  After ordering the only gluten free dessert on the menu (which I later learned was put there especially for me by the chef upon request from Jonathan!), Jonathan took a knee and proposed with my grandmother's ring.  It could not have been more wonderful.  While I hugged him and cried, the Holcombs came out to congratulate us (they even surprised us by picking up the check on the way out!).  That part wasn't planned like all of the other perfect details Jonathan had put in place for that special evening, but having Ellie there to witness the waters parting for me was the perfect bookend to the story.

It was a fairly tale night after what has felt like fairy tale romance.  This fairy tale is a little unorthodox, as the princess in this story already has three little heirs in tow.  It's not simple or easy to create a new family out of the ashes of a former family.  But that's what has happened before my very eyes.  I have found my shalom.  And while I no longer believe in fairy tales where things are as simple as "happily ever after," I do believe in a God who makes a way where there was no way.  Soon, I will walk down the aisle to the love of my life.  And that aisle will be my Red Sea Road.